Why do I always seem to do what I really don't want to do?     Because of a striving to seek security and identity from this world, many Christians are mistakenly basing much of their personal identity in their material possessions, individual accomplishments, and the opinions of others rather than who they are in Christ Jesus. Christians who strive for security and positve personal identity in this way often struggle unsuccessfully to overcome fleshly strongholds such as: depression, anger, anxiety, perfectionism, pride, shame, lust, fear and many others. These strongholds take root when we have not truly understood the extent, the complexity, and the utter futility of our performance-oriented, self-reliant mentality.    What do you mean by "self reliant mentality?"      We, as created beings, quite naturally have needs and wants. But, it is crucial to understand that in almost everything we do, we have an inner motivation which fuels our actions and that this motivation frequently does not reflect God’s purposes. Our motivation is usually to fulfill our own self-directed desires. From moment to moment, we do what we do primarily because we believe, on some level, that our behavior will result in personal benefit. We follow our individual motives for behavior very early in life, almost from the moment of birth, because we are born as dependent creatures with sin-damaged souls. God’s original plan, as initiated with Adam and Eve, is that we discover the fulfillment of every need and want through Him. God’s plan hasn’t changed! But man has changed in his relationship to God and his attitude toward God’s plan for his life. Sin has induced a misguided, self-centered striving to fulfill our own immediate wants and desires.    What was the original design?     Man and woman were originally designed to discover personal value and purpose through the unhindered realization of God's unconditional love for them. They would not feel that they needed to perform in order to feel acceptable. There would be no competition with one another, no problems with feelings of low self-esteem, low self-worth, jealousy, insecurity etc. But, tragically, the effect of sin on our thoughts, our feelings and our choices has hindered us from experiencing a close personal realization of God’s unconditional love for us.   What dynamics have arisen as a result of our separation from the "close personal realization of God's unconditional love for us?"     This separation from the security of experiencing God's unconditional love has encouraged a shifting away from reliance upon God and a deterioration of trust in His purpose for our lives. Instead of trusting God, we find ourselves repeatedly enticed by sin to depend upon self-centered behavior as we attempt to reduce our personal insecurity and compensate for the loss of the realization of God’s unconditional love. We find ourselves feeling compelled again and again to rely on ourselves in an attempt to find compensatory fulfillment through the gratification of self. This has become our life-habit. We are, habitually, to borrow a phrase, "trying to find love in all the wrong places." We have become essentially self-determining, self-reliant creatures. We are unable to find spiritual rest, because we are almost continually striving to bolster our self-esteem by gaining affirmation from man by seeking his personal approval in the form of love, recognition, admiration, respect, etc.     God's power has been made available to us to sanctify our souls, to bring us into the dynamic of real spiritual rest by transforming our character into the likeness of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Yet, the unfortunate truth is, because of these deeply rooted dynamics of self-sufficiency in our lives, we are virtually unable to consistently believe and depend on God's plan to use His power to free us from the repetitive strongholds of sin.    How do we find freedom from this behavior?      The solution to this dilemma can be accessed through our commitment to a deliberate process of Spirit-led discovery and prayer regarding the roots of our self-reliance. That process is what this ministry is about. When we are truly willing to closely examine how and why we have come to trust self-effort more than we trust God, we begin to be able to access the necessary power of the Holy Spirit which can steadily bring us freedom from the strongholds of sin in our lives. Until we are willing to do this, we will continue to suffer from a lack of faith caused by unbelief.   Unbelief is trusting in ourselves and our own ways more than we trust God from moment to moment in our lives. This lack of faith in God's power and purpose for our daily lives keeps us from the peace, joy, and spiritual rest, which are meant to accompany our sonship in God's holy family. How to print these articles: Click "File" on your browser. Then click "Print Preview." Make sure "Shrink to Fit" is in the box titled "Scale." Now you can print the page.